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Olive Garden Wishes They Had Enough Breadsticks For Me

To those who feel their appetites are insatiable,
As someone who is both:
                           A: Constantly filled with anxiety over the future, for example: college.
  And B: An avid food fanatic,
I was pleasantly surprised to see the University of Chicago’s essay prompt, questioning the legitimacy of unlimited food despite the limited amount of matter in the universe, denouncing the staple of all buffets, American food chains, etc: the “All-You-Can-Eat”. Hypothetically, if I could eat an infinite amount of breadsticks, how would Olive Garden supply the food to quench my starvation? In the wise words of Raina Hatcher: time to physics the shit out of this problem.
Image result for palpatine breadsticks meme
Pictured above: me utilizing my force lightning to force Olive Garden to feed me more breadsticks. (jk, its Palpatine, could you tell?)
To grasp the situation, we must first look at the actual construction of the universe. Is the universe finite, limited to the approximated (I put emphasis on approximated, considering that a meatsack cannot possibly accurately measure something they evidently do not understand) 93 billion-light years across (a value which is supposedly getting larger and larger by the minute?), or is the universe an infinite plane, or perhaps: a multiverse?
The nature of the universe in itself is truly the answer to this problem, because if we are to make the assumption that the universe is finite, the question becomes infinitely harder to solve. But perhaps, if we were to live in an infinite universe… (cue the foreshadowing music).
If the universe was to be infinite, we find ourselves with a serious consequence: duplication. As we travel throughout the universe, eventually, you’d find yourself looking at particles which are eerily similar. Shit, Houston, am I travelling in circles? (Chances are Houston won’t respond, considering if you are at this point, you’re likely so far that automatic communication has ceased, and it’ll take light years for your message to deliver. But, then again, if you are this far away from Earth, technology has probably developed enough to allow for this automatic intergalactic communication. So, carry on.)
Well, my fellow meatsack universe explorer, the likelihood that you’re travelling in circles is low. Assume that the number of particles within your little space area is finite, which allows for the assumption that the particles within that little space area also are finite, in terms of their configurations. To make the conclusion that there are a finite number of configurations for particles within a certain area, we can infer that in an infinite universe, as you travel, eventually you’ll find a literal duplication of that specific area. I’m not kidding. 
And this conclusion proposes so many different possibilities: infinite yous, infinite dogs, infinite Olive Gardens… which means...unlimited breadsticks? It is essentially like having a multiverse within our own universe.
See, because although there may be a finite amount of matter in the observable universe, we have no clue in hell about the actual nature of the universe itself. So, hypothetically, if the universe was infinite, that would pave the path for the legitimacy of Olive Garden’s unlimited breadsticks deal (which is good news for my infinite hunger). Now, we just have to figure out how communication is taking place, and if Olive Garden has been secretly hiding the technology they’re using to communicate with these intergalactic fellow Olive Gardens. Is this the start of a new conspiracy theory? 
Sincerely, 
An-extremely-hungry-Nicole-with-a-tin-foil-hat-on-at-12:50PM


Image result for breadsticks meme

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